April 19, 2007 - Day 4
Day 4 – April 19, 2007
Last night, I stood outside our cottage for more than 15 minutes. Nerie had to bring me back inside the cottage. I was that shocked. LOL. First kiss in 21 years. Almost 22. At nanggaling pa sa isang taong hindi ko inaasahan. So what do you expect my reaction to be, right?
I almost was not able to sleep last night. My brain kept on thinking and thinking and thinking… buti na lang napapagod din ang utak no? Kung hindi, dilat ako hanggang umaga. My body was dead tired also so that helped me sleep despite the crazy thoughts that were running through my head.
So when I woke up this morning, it didn’t surprise me that I felt dizzy. My head hurts. I don’t know if this is because I only slept for 2 hours or if this is the effect of too much thinking. Ayoko nang isipin. Basta masakit ang ulo ko. TAPOS.
I skipped breakfast and told the girls I am not feeling well. So here I am trying to find some remedy to this headache. I can’t find my painkillers. URGHH…. I have been rumagging my bag for more than 15 minutes and still I can’t find it. I need to drink one tablet at least so that I can join them later. Sayang naman ang araw kung magpapatalo ako sa sakit ng ulo na ‘to.
Okay.
So I can’t find it.
“Maybe, they receptionist has some…” I told myself. I get a top and a pair of shorts and changed in the bathroom. After a few minutes, I am heading out the door. I check the clock. It’s 9:00 a.m. and I haven’t eaten anything. Kaya rin siguro masakit ang ulo mo, Meg. HAHA.
As I lock the door, I see Eric heading towards me. Shet.
Hindi kita gustong makita ngayon!!!
I fiddled with the key as I tried to unlock the door and lock myself again inside the room. But he is fast. Before I can even insert the key, he got hold of my arm.
Eric: Hey… are you okay? They girls said you’re not feeling well…
Meg: Yeah. I have a splitting headache. *And it’s because of you dammit.*
Ayos ka ah… parang walang nangyari kagabi. How can you act so innocent?
Eric: Come on, I saved us some breakfast. Let’s eat.
Meg: You haven’t eaten yet?
Eric: Nope. I was waiting for you.
May toktok talaga ang lalaking ito. E pano kung ‘di ako lumabas ng kuwarto maghapon? E di namatay siya sa gutom?
Meg: You’re crazy, you know that?
He held my hand.
Eric: I know. So come on, I’m starving.
He starts to walk but I stop him in his tracks. I sincerely look into his eyes.
Meg: Thank you, Eric.
He puts his hand on my nose, tracing it.
Eric: You don’t have to thank me, Meg. Making you happy is something you should never thank me for.
This guy never fails to make me smile. No matter how much he makes my head ache until now, he never fails to put a smile on my face.
~
After eating, we decided to follow the rest outside. Today was sorta a rest day for us. Everyone was just bumming around. Angel and Andy were just hanging around the hammock. Kate and Minwoo were on the benches talking and kidding around. Junjin and Gab were eating pizza with Hyesung and Rhanie. Dongwan and Nerie… hmm… Dongwan was buried in the sand… and Nerie was patiently looking after him. She was making sure Dongwan doesn’t get all sun burnt. Haha.
Eric and I decide to look for some place to relax. I need a spa treatment. Ang sakit pa rin ng ulo ko e kahit na uminom na ako ng gamot. So now we are walking around the island to find a place that offers that. I know Boracay has a lot of spas here; but they’re hella expensive. I know I’m not the one who’s paying. But still. Nakakahiya. And every single one we’ve been to is full too.
Eric: Let me see that one right there. I’ll check, wait here okay?
Meg: Okay.
Then I see her again. Stalker ba ‘to?
Girl: We need to talk. *with eyes glaring*
She said that in English.
Wow. E marunong ka naman pala mag-English e!
She’s pretty. Mukhang model. Ang tangkad niya talaga. She’s just wearing flats now and she’s a head taller than me. HAHA. Talo talaga ako dito pag nagkasabunutan!
Meg: I have nothing to say to you.
Girl: We need to talk. Come on, let’s go some place quiet.
She grabs my arm and tries to drag me to the nearby restaurant.
Meg: Can you let go of me?
May topak ang babaeng to ah. Violent?!
Eric: She said let go.
Girl: Eric…please…
Wow. Sudden change of expression huh? From glaring eyes to puppy eyes. Eric looks at the girl with piercing eyes.
Eric: Let go. And leave us alone okay?
Eric takes my hand. Then he takes me away from that girl.
~
We went to the spa Eric checked out before the incident happened. There were still a few rooms unoccupied so we were accommodated. We were directed to separate rooms.
Eric: Relax and enjoy okay? This is my peace offering to you. Look at your eyes, they have dark circles underneath. You weren’t able to sleep well and I guess it’s my fault. *touching the dark circles*
Meg: Yeah, yeah. At last, you admitted it. HAHA. *pinching his cheeks* Okay, go go, while I savor this well-deserved treatment.
~
The facial + body scrub + massage felt wonderful. Hay. I should do this more often. But I bet it’s hella more expensive in Manila. Especially if I’ll do it often. LOL. So I’ll scratch the idea. Hanggang dito na lang ‘to. Habang hindi ako ang nagbabayad. HAHA.
I walk out of my room feeling rejuvenated. I love it. I saw Eric waiting for me on the couch, reading a magazine. I sat beside him. He touched my hand. “So how are you feeling, dear?” I put my hand on top of his. “Better. A lot better. Wow, the spa did your hands good. It’s feels softer…,” I said, rubbing his hands. “Yeah. I was in good hands in there. HAHA.”
“So now you know the feeling of a Filipina’s touch huh?” I told him, almost regretting what I just said.
What the hell am I thinking?!
“Yeah. It’s not bad…,” he said.
Then he burst out laughing.
“I was just kidding.”
I just looked at him.
And looked at him.
“I was kidding Meg. Why are you looking at me like that?” He said, looking puzzled.
I slowly bring my hand to his face.
“Got it! Make a wish!”
“Huh?”
“You had a fallen eyelash on your cheekbone. Come on, make a wish!” I said, carefully holding on to the strand.
“Ah, okay.” He closed his eyes. He smiled. “Done.”
“Okay!” I said as I blew the strand away.
“Are you hungry?” He said, feeling his stomach.
“Yeah. How did you know?”
I did not eat much for breakfast, maybe that’s why.
He laughed.
“Because I am hungry too. HAHA. And I know you are always hungry,” he said.
“I am not! Look at the time, it’s past 12 already. Of course we should be hungry!”
Naku. Kung malaki-laki lang talaga ako, nabatukan na kita!
But all I can do is slap him. Which I did. On his arm at least. Hehe.
*ring ring*
Meg: Hello?
Kate: Meg! Where are you guys?
Meg: Nasa spa. Kayo?
I can hear Minwoo’s voice. He’s asking about the food again. LOL. XD
Kate: We’re eating already. Punta na kayo dito. Nasa restaurant kami sa tabi ng coco mangas.
Meg: Okay. Gutom na nga kami e. Bye.
I grabbed Eric’s arm.
Meg: Tara! Let’s eat!!!!
~
After lunch, the boys had a meeting with the crew. They had to shoot an MV. So we were left by ourselves. We decided to shop for the boys.
I ended up shopping alone. Okay, so I decided to go on my own because really, I don’t know what to get Eric. What should I get someone who can get almost anything in this world? There was this running joke that he can even buy South Korea if he wanted to. LOL. He is that hmm… how do you call it… well-off. Rich, in short. If you’re a fan, you’d know why. So I just walked around the island. Looking for something I can give this guy. I see tons of shirts, bracelets, necklaces, bandanas, and even shades. Ano namang gagawin niya sa mga iyon? Baka nga bigyan pa siya nina Nerie ng mga yan! Hay. Kiss na lang pwede? :) Hehe.
An hour has passed. Still I am empty-handed. I decided to buy stuff for my family instead. Hay nako. Bahala ka, Eric.
I bought a nice cellphone chain for my mother, a necklace for my sister, a pair of boardshorts for my growing brother and a special BORACAY shirt for my father. Bakit special kamo? Limited edition raw. Ang mahal e. Grabe. Makita-kita ko lang yan na suot ng iba sa Maynila, ibabalik ko talaga ‘to!
For myself, I bought a beach hat. You know the buri type? The native one. That one. HAHA. I know I am short and all, but I like it. This trip will make me want to go to the beach often. :)
Okay Meg. One more hour to go before the call time. Shet. And you haven’t bought Eric anything. You should find at least something.
So I walk to the other end of the island. And looked around for some more shops. Until I find this accessories shop. It’s a small one. They don’t have much stuff. But the items are really unique. And kinda expensive too. Aigoo… Meg, don’t think. Just look for something. I see some leather bracelets. Maybe I’d just customize something for him. I see some letters. And I see some charms. This will do.
~
I went back to the cottage. I see Kate, Gab and Rhanie are back. Nerie and Angel came back after 15 minutes. We looked at each other’s stuff. Damn, they bought lots of stuff for the boys. Shucks. I’m such a loser. It’s a good thing they didn’t ask about mine because they were too busy with the stuff the others’ bought.
They boys went back around 3:30 p.m. They were tired. So were we. So we decided to take a nap.
5 p.m. All the girls woke up. As much as we don’t want to stand up and just lie in bed, we need food for dinner so half of the girls went out to buy food while the others prepared the table. At around 7, we had to wake the boys up because the food was getting cold. Hehe. I guess they were really tired.
After dinner, it’s gift-giving time. And now, it’s our turn.
The girls are giving their gifts already. Eric is waiting for his.
Shucks, kakahiya to ah.
Shet.
Sige na nga.
I walk and sit beside Eric. “Hi there. This is for you,” I said as I give him a small box.
“Sorry, I can’t find anything else. And I thought you practically have everything…. so…,” I said as he was opening the box. He got the bracelet and stifled a laugh.
And suddenly he had this confused look.
“M and E can mean 2 things actually. Meg and Eric. Or Mun Eric. So if ever you’re gonna wear that, you can chose what to tell if ever people start asking. So it’s up to you…” I told him.
Then, he laughed.
Shet. Tawa nang tawa ang taong ‘to. Pukpukin ko ‘to e.
“What?! Why are you laughing?” I asked him, getting irritated.
“Nothing,” he told me as he leaned and kissed my cheek. “Thank you very much for this.”
Awww… haha. Buti na lang nagustuhan niya. Or at least natawa siya. HAHA.
“You’re welcome, Eric. I’m glad you liked it.”
~
Walking along the beach of Boracay at night is interesting. Especially this time of the year because there are so many celebrities around. HAHA. I recognize most of them. Although I want to take pics with some of them, I’ll be content and just stare. This is a private time for them. I’ll give them a break.
Holding Eric’s hand, I sighed.
Eric looked at me and asked, “Is there something wrong?”
“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. That’s the thing, everything is just too… nice,” I told him. Really. Everything is just too damn nice. I just hope this doesn’t end. BUT. We know there’s an end to this fantasy.
Eric tightened his grip and kissed my forehead.
“Just don’t think too much, dear. Let’s just enjoy,” he told me as we followed the rest.
~
After the all the singing we did, or rather Rhanie and the boys did, we found a nice and quiet spot and decided to build a bonfire. Time to chit chat and finally ask all the questions that we have been avoiding or rather not think about.
Everyone had a blanket to sit on.
Dongwan told the story of how he discovered us. Well, apparently, he was able to receive the letter Nerie asked me to give him 2 years ago in the Seoul Concert. Amazing. (Thanks to Naza for that. :) haha.) And he found the link to Nerie’s journal. And that’s when the blog hopping began. He got so amazed by the friendship we shared that when the boys went to visit him, he excitedly showed them our blogs.
Buti na lang yung ibang mga Eric rants and spazz ko naka-filter. LOL. XD Kakahiya. Haha.
Time came they wanted to take a break and unwind. They wanted to go to a beautiful place where they can be anonymous as much as possible. Boracay was a really popular destination for some Korean actors and they thought they’d give it a shot. Then, they thought of us. Why not bring them along? We know the place and it would be a lot easier for them to communicate with the locals. And they said they are very interested to meet us. HAHA. WTH. WHY? LOL. XD Anyway, they gathered the best detectives in town and kaboom! They suddenly know where to contact us and I guess the rest is history. Hehe.
We started talking about anything… from school to work to other gasoo to life… to LOVE. This is actually a very sensitive yet embarrassing topic to talk about for most of us. But well, since everyone’s at it, some of us shared our own experiences and thoughts about it.
Dito mo maiisip na tao talaga sila, nasasaktan, nadadapa at natututong bumangon ulit.
~
Now everyone’s breaking away from the circle. Each couple is starting to make their own space.
From afar, I can see Eric preparing the blanket near a coconut tree. He motioned me to go to him.
“Yes?”
“Come here, sit with me,” he said, making me sit between his legs.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned against the tree. I, on the other hand, leaned on him, resting my head on his shoulder. I smiled.
For now, I am happy. And that’s all that matters.
+
Watching them from afar, a woman’s heart was crushed.
“You’ll regret this. I’m telling you.”
+
Waking up in Eric’s arms is one of the most incredible things in the world. It’s just surreal. I blinked and looked at everyone else. Some are just talking and looking at the stars; some dozed off as well. I can’t move much because his arms are still around me. I don’t want to wake him up. So I slowly stirred and managed to change my position without totally waking him up. I looked at his face. He looked so peaceful. I traced his face without actually touching anything. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips.
Why can’t you be mine forever?
I can’t take this anymore. I have to let go.
I quickly broke away from his hug. Eric wakes up.
“Meg?”
“I’m sorry, Eric…,” I told him before I ran away.
“Meg! Wait!” I can hear him running behind me.
I passed by Nerie and Dongwan.
Nerie: Unnie! San ka pupunta?
Tears flowing, I just ran.
Ran.
Ran.
And ran.
Away from him.
Away from all these.
And hopefully back to the reality I need to face.
~
I found quiet spot at the other end of the island. I sat and leaned against a rock.
I can’t control my tears. DAMN.
Tama na, Meg. Tama na!
Then, I see Nerie. She sat beside me.
Nerie: Unnie, anong nangyari? Sabi ni Kuya, bigla ka na lang daw tumakbo.
Then, I see Dongwan and Eric standing behind her.
Nerie: Nag-aalala si Kuya. Bakit ka raw umiiyak?
Meg: Ayoko na Nerie, ayoko na. Maloloka na ako. Masyadong maganda ang mga nangyayari. Ayoko na. Hindi to pwede. Mas masakit lang sa huli. *saying in between sobs*
Eric: What did she say Nerie? *sounding frustrated*
Nerie: Unnie, ayan na… nagtatanong na si Kuya…
Meg: Yun na nga e. Nakakainis. Nag-aalala siya. Baka masanay ako. Hahanap-hanapin ko yan pagbalik natin.
Eric: What are you saying, Meg? Come on… * as he sits beside me touching my arm*
Kahit na anong pigil ko, sige pa rin ang tulo ng luha.
Nerie: Kuya, she’s saying that she can’t take this anymore. She…
I held Nerie’s hand. “Nerie, ako na lang. Sige. Okay lang. I’ll handle this. Ako nang bahala dito.”
Nerie and Dongwan left us alone.
Eric wipes off my tears.
“Eric, I’m sorry for making you worry. It’s just that, my heart’s been broken before and…”
“I know.”
“You knew?”
“Of course. He’s the one we bumped into a few days ago right?”
“Yeah. I really loved him but I know there are things that are just not meant to happen. ”
“I know. So that’s what’s bothering you?”
“Yes. Because I think my heart’s gonna be broken again soon.”
I look at the sand and kicked some stones. Eyes hot with tears, I looked at him. “I don’t want to love someone I can’t be with the rest of my life, Eric. Not again. That’s why I’m trying to pull myself away from you because I am really starting to fall in love with you. I know I love you because you’re Eric of Shinhwa and all, but now… I can’t help but love you because you’re YOU. The way you are, the things you love, the things you hate, the things you do for me – I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want to fall in love with you. Because it’s impossible… it’s hard… it will hurt…it’s not meant to be… this is just a dream that should remain to be a dream… ”
Tears fall from my eyes. Again.
Eric held my hands.
“Look at me, Meg. I believe that miracles happen. Dreams can come true. The days we’ve spent here together … it’s been a while since I’ve felt this happy…this peaceful. And all of this is because of you."
"I was stranded. You taught me how to move on. You taught me how simple life can be. You’re my rock. You kept me grounded. I love you, Meg. Really.”
I am at a loss for words.
I stood up.
And walked away.
“Mahirap nga e. Grabe naman ‘to. Dapat sinabi na lang niya na tama ako. Para tapos na ang lahat. Shiet.”
I was walking farther and farther away from him.
Huwag ka nang lumingon. Kaya mo yan.
“Meg!”
I hear his footsteps behind me.
Lakad lang nang lakad, Meg.
“I can’t promise you forever, Meg.”
I stopped. A tear fell.
I felt his fingers intertwine with mine.
“But I promise to never let go.”
He pulled me close and I slammed into his chest. He hugged me tight.
“I love you baby,” Eric said as he tenderly touched my cheek.
His hands slowly cupped my face.
I closed my eyes.
His lips softly touched mine.
This time, I kissed him back.
Gently.
“I love you Eric,” I said as in between the kiss.
I am taking this risk.
Not alone, but with him.
~
Eric and I returned to the bonfire and saw everyone else sitting around it again. Like something’s going to happen. It’s pretty late. Maga na ang mata ko. I hope it’s not another activity again.
Eric asked me to sit down on our blanket. They boys asked us to close our eyes. I
was like, what for? But I closed my eyes anyway.
Then, I felt something on my throat.
A necklace.
With my name.
Everyone else got the same.
I looked at Eric.
And mouthed the words, Thank You.
And he mouthed back, I Love You Too.
~
We went back to our cottages. It’s been a long and tiring day for me. Physically, emotionally, psychologically.
“Good night, Meg,” he said as we hugged.
“Good night, baby.”
Life is simple.
Kung masaya man ako ngayon, iyon ay dahil pinili kong maging masaya.
Last night, I stood outside our cottage for more than 15 minutes. Nerie had to bring me back inside the cottage. I was that shocked. LOL. First kiss in 21 years. Almost 22. At nanggaling pa sa isang taong hindi ko inaasahan. So what do you expect my reaction to be, right?
I almost was not able to sleep last night. My brain kept on thinking and thinking and thinking… buti na lang napapagod din ang utak no? Kung hindi, dilat ako hanggang umaga. My body was dead tired also so that helped me sleep despite the crazy thoughts that were running through my head.
So when I woke up this morning, it didn’t surprise me that I felt dizzy. My head hurts. I don’t know if this is because I only slept for 2 hours or if this is the effect of too much thinking. Ayoko nang isipin. Basta masakit ang ulo ko. TAPOS.
I skipped breakfast and told the girls I am not feeling well. So here I am trying to find some remedy to this headache. I can’t find my painkillers. URGHH…. I have been rumagging my bag for more than 15 minutes and still I can’t find it. I need to drink one tablet at least so that I can join them later. Sayang naman ang araw kung magpapatalo ako sa sakit ng ulo na ‘to.
Okay.
So I can’t find it.
“Maybe, they receptionist has some…” I told myself. I get a top and a pair of shorts and changed in the bathroom. After a few minutes, I am heading out the door. I check the clock. It’s 9:00 a.m. and I haven’t eaten anything. Kaya rin siguro masakit ang ulo mo, Meg. HAHA.
As I lock the door, I see Eric heading towards me. Shet.
Hindi kita gustong makita ngayon!!!
I fiddled with the key as I tried to unlock the door and lock myself again inside the room. But he is fast. Before I can even insert the key, he got hold of my arm.
Eric: Hey… are you okay? They girls said you’re not feeling well…
Meg: Yeah. I have a splitting headache. *And it’s because of you dammit.*
Ayos ka ah… parang walang nangyari kagabi. How can you act so innocent?
Eric: Come on, I saved us some breakfast. Let’s eat.
Meg: You haven’t eaten yet?
Eric: Nope. I was waiting for you.
May toktok talaga ang lalaking ito. E pano kung ‘di ako lumabas ng kuwarto maghapon? E di namatay siya sa gutom?
Meg: You’re crazy, you know that?
He held my hand.
Eric: I know. So come on, I’m starving.
He starts to walk but I stop him in his tracks. I sincerely look into his eyes.
Meg: Thank you, Eric.
He puts his hand on my nose, tracing it.
Eric: You don’t have to thank me, Meg. Making you happy is something you should never thank me for.
This guy never fails to make me smile. No matter how much he makes my head ache until now, he never fails to put a smile on my face.
~
After eating, we decided to follow the rest outside. Today was sorta a rest day for us. Everyone was just bumming around. Angel and Andy were just hanging around the hammock. Kate and Minwoo were on the benches talking and kidding around. Junjin and Gab were eating pizza with Hyesung and Rhanie. Dongwan and Nerie… hmm… Dongwan was buried in the sand… and Nerie was patiently looking after him. She was making sure Dongwan doesn’t get all sun burnt. Haha.
Eric and I decide to look for some place to relax. I need a spa treatment. Ang sakit pa rin ng ulo ko e kahit na uminom na ako ng gamot. So now we are walking around the island to find a place that offers that. I know Boracay has a lot of spas here; but they’re hella expensive. I know I’m not the one who’s paying. But still. Nakakahiya. And every single one we’ve been to is full too.
Eric: Let me see that one right there. I’ll check, wait here okay?
Meg: Okay.
Then I see her again. Stalker ba ‘to?
Girl: We need to talk. *with eyes glaring*
She said that in English.
Wow. E marunong ka naman pala mag-English e!
She’s pretty. Mukhang model. Ang tangkad niya talaga. She’s just wearing flats now and she’s a head taller than me. HAHA. Talo talaga ako dito pag nagkasabunutan!
Meg: I have nothing to say to you.
Girl: We need to talk. Come on, let’s go some place quiet.
She grabs my arm and tries to drag me to the nearby restaurant.
Meg: Can you let go of me?
May topak ang babaeng to ah. Violent?!
Eric: She said let go.
Girl: Eric…please…
Wow. Sudden change of expression huh? From glaring eyes to puppy eyes. Eric looks at the girl with piercing eyes.
Eric: Let go. And leave us alone okay?
Eric takes my hand. Then he takes me away from that girl.
~
We went to the spa Eric checked out before the incident happened. There were still a few rooms unoccupied so we were accommodated. We were directed to separate rooms.
Eric: Relax and enjoy okay? This is my peace offering to you. Look at your eyes, they have dark circles underneath. You weren’t able to sleep well and I guess it’s my fault. *touching the dark circles*
Meg: Yeah, yeah. At last, you admitted it. HAHA. *pinching his cheeks* Okay, go go, while I savor this well-deserved treatment.
~
The facial + body scrub + massage felt wonderful. Hay. I should do this more often. But I bet it’s hella more expensive in Manila. Especially if I’ll do it often. LOL. So I’ll scratch the idea. Hanggang dito na lang ‘to. Habang hindi ako ang nagbabayad. HAHA.
I walk out of my room feeling rejuvenated. I love it. I saw Eric waiting for me on the couch, reading a magazine. I sat beside him. He touched my hand. “So how are you feeling, dear?” I put my hand on top of his. “Better. A lot better. Wow, the spa did your hands good. It’s feels softer…,” I said, rubbing his hands. “Yeah. I was in good hands in there. HAHA.”
“So now you know the feeling of a Filipina’s touch huh?” I told him, almost regretting what I just said.
What the hell am I thinking?!
“Yeah. It’s not bad…,” he said.
Then he burst out laughing.
“I was just kidding.”
I just looked at him.
And looked at him.
“I was kidding Meg. Why are you looking at me like that?” He said, looking puzzled.
I slowly bring my hand to his face.
“Got it! Make a wish!”
“Huh?”
“You had a fallen eyelash on your cheekbone. Come on, make a wish!” I said, carefully holding on to the strand.
“Ah, okay.” He closed his eyes. He smiled. “Done.”
“Okay!” I said as I blew the strand away.
“Are you hungry?” He said, feeling his stomach.
“Yeah. How did you know?”
I did not eat much for breakfast, maybe that’s why.
He laughed.
“Because I am hungry too. HAHA. And I know you are always hungry,” he said.
“I am not! Look at the time, it’s past 12 already. Of course we should be hungry!”
Naku. Kung malaki-laki lang talaga ako, nabatukan na kita!
But all I can do is slap him. Which I did. On his arm at least. Hehe.
*ring ring*
Meg: Hello?
Kate: Meg! Where are you guys?
Meg: Nasa spa. Kayo?
I can hear Minwoo’s voice. He’s asking about the food again. LOL. XD
Kate: We’re eating already. Punta na kayo dito. Nasa restaurant kami sa tabi ng coco mangas.
Meg: Okay. Gutom na nga kami e. Bye.
I grabbed Eric’s arm.
Meg: Tara! Let’s eat!!!!
~
After lunch, the boys had a meeting with the crew. They had to shoot an MV. So we were left by ourselves. We decided to shop for the boys.
I ended up shopping alone. Okay, so I decided to go on my own because really, I don’t know what to get Eric. What should I get someone who can get almost anything in this world? There was this running joke that he can even buy South Korea if he wanted to. LOL. He is that hmm… how do you call it… well-off. Rich, in short. If you’re a fan, you’d know why. So I just walked around the island. Looking for something I can give this guy. I see tons of shirts, bracelets, necklaces, bandanas, and even shades. Ano namang gagawin niya sa mga iyon? Baka nga bigyan pa siya nina Nerie ng mga yan! Hay. Kiss na lang pwede? :) Hehe.
An hour has passed. Still I am empty-handed. I decided to buy stuff for my family instead. Hay nako. Bahala ka, Eric.
I bought a nice cellphone chain for my mother, a necklace for my sister, a pair of boardshorts for my growing brother and a special BORACAY shirt for my father. Bakit special kamo? Limited edition raw. Ang mahal e. Grabe. Makita-kita ko lang yan na suot ng iba sa Maynila, ibabalik ko talaga ‘to!
For myself, I bought a beach hat. You know the buri type? The native one. That one. HAHA. I know I am short and all, but I like it. This trip will make me want to go to the beach often. :)
Okay Meg. One more hour to go before the call time. Shet. And you haven’t bought Eric anything. You should find at least something.
So I walk to the other end of the island. And looked around for some more shops. Until I find this accessories shop. It’s a small one. They don’t have much stuff. But the items are really unique. And kinda expensive too. Aigoo… Meg, don’t think. Just look for something. I see some leather bracelets. Maybe I’d just customize something for him. I see some letters. And I see some charms. This will do.
~
I went back to the cottage. I see Kate, Gab and Rhanie are back. Nerie and Angel came back after 15 minutes. We looked at each other’s stuff. Damn, they bought lots of stuff for the boys. Shucks. I’m such a loser. It’s a good thing they didn’t ask about mine because they were too busy with the stuff the others’ bought.
They boys went back around 3:30 p.m. They were tired. So were we. So we decided to take a nap.
5 p.m. All the girls woke up. As much as we don’t want to stand up and just lie in bed, we need food for dinner so half of the girls went out to buy food while the others prepared the table. At around 7, we had to wake the boys up because the food was getting cold. Hehe. I guess they were really tired.
After dinner, it’s gift-giving time. And now, it’s our turn.
The girls are giving their gifts already. Eric is waiting for his.
Shucks, kakahiya to ah.
Shet.
Sige na nga.
I walk and sit beside Eric. “Hi there. This is for you,” I said as I give him a small box.
“Sorry, I can’t find anything else. And I thought you practically have everything…. so…,” I said as he was opening the box. He got the bracelet and stifled a laugh.
And suddenly he had this confused look.
“M and E can mean 2 things actually. Meg and Eric. Or Mun Eric. So if ever you’re gonna wear that, you can chose what to tell if ever people start asking. So it’s up to you…” I told him.
Then, he laughed.
Shet. Tawa nang tawa ang taong ‘to. Pukpukin ko ‘to e.
“What?! Why are you laughing?” I asked him, getting irritated.
“Nothing,” he told me as he leaned and kissed my cheek. “Thank you very much for this.”
Awww… haha. Buti na lang nagustuhan niya. Or at least natawa siya. HAHA.
“You’re welcome, Eric. I’m glad you liked it.”
~
Walking along the beach of Boracay at night is interesting. Especially this time of the year because there are so many celebrities around. HAHA. I recognize most of them. Although I want to take pics with some of them, I’ll be content and just stare. This is a private time for them. I’ll give them a break.
Holding Eric’s hand, I sighed.
Eric looked at me and asked, “Is there something wrong?”
“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. That’s the thing, everything is just too… nice,” I told him. Really. Everything is just too damn nice. I just hope this doesn’t end. BUT. We know there’s an end to this fantasy.
Eric tightened his grip and kissed my forehead.
“Just don’t think too much, dear. Let’s just enjoy,” he told me as we followed the rest.
~
After the all the singing we did, or rather Rhanie and the boys did, we found a nice and quiet spot and decided to build a bonfire. Time to chit chat and finally ask all the questions that we have been avoiding or rather not think about.
Everyone had a blanket to sit on.
Dongwan told the story of how he discovered us. Well, apparently, he was able to receive the letter Nerie asked me to give him 2 years ago in the Seoul Concert. Amazing. (Thanks to Naza for that. :) haha.) And he found the link to Nerie’s journal. And that’s when the blog hopping began. He got so amazed by the friendship we shared that when the boys went to visit him, he excitedly showed them our blogs.
Buti na lang yung ibang mga Eric rants and spazz ko naka-filter. LOL. XD Kakahiya. Haha.
Time came they wanted to take a break and unwind. They wanted to go to a beautiful place where they can be anonymous as much as possible. Boracay was a really popular destination for some Korean actors and they thought they’d give it a shot. Then, they thought of us. Why not bring them along? We know the place and it would be a lot easier for them to communicate with the locals. And they said they are very interested to meet us. HAHA. WTH. WHY? LOL. XD Anyway, they gathered the best detectives in town and kaboom! They suddenly know where to contact us and I guess the rest is history. Hehe.
We started talking about anything… from school to work to other gasoo to life… to LOVE. This is actually a very sensitive yet embarrassing topic to talk about for most of us. But well, since everyone’s at it, some of us shared our own experiences and thoughts about it.
Dito mo maiisip na tao talaga sila, nasasaktan, nadadapa at natututong bumangon ulit.
~
Now everyone’s breaking away from the circle. Each couple is starting to make their own space.
From afar, I can see Eric preparing the blanket near a coconut tree. He motioned me to go to him.
“Yes?”
“Come here, sit with me,” he said, making me sit between his legs.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned against the tree. I, on the other hand, leaned on him, resting my head on his shoulder. I smiled.
For now, I am happy. And that’s all that matters.
+
Watching them from afar, a woman’s heart was crushed.
“You’ll regret this. I’m telling you.”
+
Waking up in Eric’s arms is one of the most incredible things in the world. It’s just surreal. I blinked and looked at everyone else. Some are just talking and looking at the stars; some dozed off as well. I can’t move much because his arms are still around me. I don’t want to wake him up. So I slowly stirred and managed to change my position without totally waking him up. I looked at his face. He looked so peaceful. I traced his face without actually touching anything. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips.
Why can’t you be mine forever?
I can’t take this anymore. I have to let go.
I quickly broke away from his hug. Eric wakes up.
“Meg?”
“I’m sorry, Eric…,” I told him before I ran away.
“Meg! Wait!” I can hear him running behind me.
I passed by Nerie and Dongwan.
Nerie: Unnie! San ka pupunta?
Tears flowing, I just ran.
Ran.
Ran.
And ran.
Away from him.
Away from all these.
And hopefully back to the reality I need to face.
~
I found quiet spot at the other end of the island. I sat and leaned against a rock.
I can’t control my tears. DAMN.
Tama na, Meg. Tama na!
Then, I see Nerie. She sat beside me.
Nerie: Unnie, anong nangyari? Sabi ni Kuya, bigla ka na lang daw tumakbo.
Then, I see Dongwan and Eric standing behind her.
Nerie: Nag-aalala si Kuya. Bakit ka raw umiiyak?
Meg: Ayoko na Nerie, ayoko na. Maloloka na ako. Masyadong maganda ang mga nangyayari. Ayoko na. Hindi to pwede. Mas masakit lang sa huli. *saying in between sobs*
Eric: What did she say Nerie? *sounding frustrated*
Nerie: Unnie, ayan na… nagtatanong na si Kuya…
Meg: Yun na nga e. Nakakainis. Nag-aalala siya. Baka masanay ako. Hahanap-hanapin ko yan pagbalik natin.
Eric: What are you saying, Meg? Come on… * as he sits beside me touching my arm*
Kahit na anong pigil ko, sige pa rin ang tulo ng luha.
Nerie: Kuya, she’s saying that she can’t take this anymore. She…
I held Nerie’s hand. “Nerie, ako na lang. Sige. Okay lang. I’ll handle this. Ako nang bahala dito.”
Nerie and Dongwan left us alone.
Eric wipes off my tears.
“Eric, I’m sorry for making you worry. It’s just that, my heart’s been broken before and…”
“I know.”
“You knew?”
“Of course. He’s the one we bumped into a few days ago right?”
“Yeah. I really loved him but I know there are things that are just not meant to happen. ”
“I know. So that’s what’s bothering you?”
“Yes. Because I think my heart’s gonna be broken again soon.”
I look at the sand and kicked some stones. Eyes hot with tears, I looked at him. “I don’t want to love someone I can’t be with the rest of my life, Eric. Not again. That’s why I’m trying to pull myself away from you because I am really starting to fall in love with you. I know I love you because you’re Eric of Shinhwa and all, but now… I can’t help but love you because you’re YOU. The way you are, the things you love, the things you hate, the things you do for me – I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want to fall in love with you. Because it’s impossible… it’s hard… it will hurt…it’s not meant to be… this is just a dream that should remain to be a dream… ”
Tears fall from my eyes. Again.
Eric held my hands.
“Look at me, Meg. I believe that miracles happen. Dreams can come true. The days we’ve spent here together … it’s been a while since I’ve felt this happy…this peaceful. And all of this is because of you."
"I was stranded. You taught me how to move on. You taught me how simple life can be. You’re my rock. You kept me grounded. I love you, Meg. Really.”
I am at a loss for words.
I stood up.
And walked away.
“Mahirap nga e. Grabe naman ‘to. Dapat sinabi na lang niya na tama ako. Para tapos na ang lahat. Shiet.”
I was walking farther and farther away from him.
Huwag ka nang lumingon. Kaya mo yan.
“Meg!”
I hear his footsteps behind me.
Lakad lang nang lakad, Meg.
“I can’t promise you forever, Meg.”
I stopped. A tear fell.
I felt his fingers intertwine with mine.
“But I promise to never let go.”
He pulled me close and I slammed into his chest. He hugged me tight.
“I love you baby,” Eric said as he tenderly touched my cheek.
His hands slowly cupped my face.
I closed my eyes.
His lips softly touched mine.
This time, I kissed him back.
Gently.
“I love you Eric,” I said as in between the kiss.
I am taking this risk.
Not alone, but with him.
~
Eric and I returned to the bonfire and saw everyone else sitting around it again. Like something’s going to happen. It’s pretty late. Maga na ang mata ko. I hope it’s not another activity again.
Eric asked me to sit down on our blanket. They boys asked us to close our eyes. I
was like, what for? But I closed my eyes anyway.
Then, I felt something on my throat.
A necklace.
With my name.
Everyone else got the same.
I looked at Eric.
And mouthed the words, Thank You.
And he mouthed back, I Love You Too.
~
We went back to our cottages. It’s been a long and tiring day for me. Physically, emotionally, psychologically.
“Good night, Meg,” he said as we hugged.
“Good night, baby.”
Life is simple.
Kung masaya man ako ngayon, iyon ay dahil pinili kong maging masaya.
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